Anton's #1 Web Log

Потому что, — это реальность Америки.

Не только Америки, впрочем.

The bare handed man was under dressed for the weather and obviously cold. He asked me for change. I gave him everything I had, $2.37. He started talking to me but couldn’t look me in the eye. As he was telling me how cold and hungry he was, I watched as he was unable to control his hands. It was like he was playing an invisible piano. He had a very hard time talking to me and I could see he was much more uncomfortable then I was. He clearly had boundary issues but I never felt threatened in anyway. He kept staring off and would occasionally look in my direction but never at me. He stood about 1 or 2 feet in front of me and asked me to drive him to a shelter because its “warm there and they have food”. He informed me that he was “homeless and very hungry”. He then told me that he “was not lying to me”. He asked me to buy him some food and gloves. I thought about what to say. I knew he would have hard time understanding. I don’t have any money. My family is struggling to survive each day. I would literally be taking away from what little my family has and I just couldn’t. I was trying to figure out how to explain to him that I couldn’t help him. I was lost for words.

Then something happened that shook me to the core and completely broke my heart. As I was trying to form the words I needed to tell him no, he looked me in the eyes. All of the sudden I was looking at Gavin. This bare handed man was my son 20 or 30 years from now. I was overcome with emotion. It was like I was run over by a freight train. I can’t put words together to describe what that moment was like.